by Kristi Caporoso
While communicating with those around us, we tend to focus mainly on what we are saying. However, this is not the most effective component of communication. Whether we realize it or not, we are always in a state of nonverbal communication. Those around us are more likely to pick up what we are giving off based on our nonverbal cues as opposed to what we are actually saying. "Interestingly enough, people tend to focus more on negative nonverbal communication than what is actually being said." For example, if we are speaking to someone and trying to offer them support and positive encouragement but are looking at our phones the entire time texting, that person will more than likely not be pleased nor feel any reassurance or support from us whatsoever.There are numerous components of nonverbal communication, including tone of voice, volume, facial expression, and body movement. Some of the time we perform these on a subconscious level, without even realizing what we are doing or what impression we are giving off. However, there is hope for us. Paying more attention to your nonverbal cues can improve your chances of communicating in a positive manner. For example, holding eye contact always sends a message that we are listening. Not maintaining eye contact is often perceived as an untrustworthy quality. Other facial cues are as simple as your facial expression. It confuses people and makes them question your sincerity when your facial expression doesn't match with what you are saying. For example, apologizing to someone with a huge grin on your face doesn't convince them that your apology is in fact sincere. Other cues you can work to improve on are paying attention to personal space, trying not to raise your voice, and making sure you only respond when appropriate. "What I like to call the 'bobblehead syndrome,' in which the listener continuously nods, could be viewed as rushing the speaker and an overall disinterest." Continually nodding while someone is speaking confuses them and doesn't ensure that you are actually agreeing when they ask for your opinion.
Nonverbal communication is a very important but also very easily overlooked part of our daily lives. Taking some of these steps and being generally aware of what you are doing in conversation will help to improve your daily communications.
source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/30/3-simple-ways-to-improve-nonverbal-communication/, Donna M. White
