Arguing in Front of the Kids: What Effect Does it Have?

by Kristi Caporoso

    No kids enjoy seeing their parents fight. And in turn, parents usually strive not to fight in front of their children, or drag their children into fights. However, it's impossible to never have an argument in front of your kids. They sometimes erupt at inopportune and unpredicted times. However, you can reign in how your arguments affect your kids if you pay attention to how you are fighting, what you are fighting about, and how you resolve your issues.
    For example, personal attacks on one another will more negatively affect your child than impersonal arguments. They "cause children to believe that their parents are at war and that the dispute will not be resolved except through damage to one parent or the other, or to the relationship between them" (Balter). This is something that as a parent you should strive to avoid; while on the other hand if an argument comes up about something less personal (i.e. shopping for groceries) it may not be as detrimental to your child.
    Your child's age has an impact on the way they see an argument as well. When they are toddlers, kids may not be able to recognize the words being exchanged--but they are able to pick up on discordance. Typically they will cover their ears or eyes to try to shut out the fight. As they get older and can understand what is being said, preschool-aged kids will be more susceptible to take everything they hear literally. Keep this in mind if your argument is escalating in front of your 3-5 year old. Also, kids this age may try acting out to distract parents from a fight. 6-8 year-old kids tend to be more embarrassed by their parents fighting, and "feel pressed to take sides in an argument" (Balter). Overall, as a parent you should monitor the type of fighting that takes place in front of your child. Not only do children tend to blame themselves for their parents' fights, but they also are confused by sarcasm and can in turn grow up to be sarcastic themselves, or distrusting of if others really mean what they say.
    While these fights may not be beneficial, it is important to not just pretend that nothing is wrong and "sweep disagreements under the rug." This does nothing to benefit you or your child--they will not believe you that nothing is wrong, and suspect the worse since you aren't telling them anything. However, when you talk with your kids it's critical not to involve them in your fights. Don't ask them to take your side, don't try to bounce your opinions off of them, etc. The argument is yours to deal with, not theirs. Also detrimental to children is arguing about childrearing practices in front of them. Yelling at your significant other for allowing your child to watch too much TV or something of that nature will further lead the child to believe the fight is their fault.
    Arguing with your spouse or significant other is inevitable. It is also inevitable that these fights will sometimes occur in front of your children. However, if you keep these facts and effects in mind, you should be able to keep in check the negative effects your arguments have on your kids.

Source: Is it OK to argue in front of the children? Lawrence Balter, Ph.D.

Compliments have the same positive effect as recieving money

By Irada Yunusova

Whether for your clothes, your smile, or your car, getting complimented always feels nice. While considering the value of compliments, researchers have found that compliments boost performance. In fact, people respond similarly to receiving a compliment as they do to receiving cash.

In a recent study, 48 adults were asked to learn and perform a specific finger pattern in which they were to push keys on a keyboard in a specific order. The individuals were then split into three groups. In one group an evaluator complimented the participants, in a second group the participants saw another individual receive a compliment, and in the third group individuals evaluated their own performance on a graph. The following day all participants repeated the finger exercise. The participants who received compliments directly were significantly more efficient than those in the other two groups.

Researchers have found that the same area of the brain is activated when an individual is rewarded with both cash and compliments. Researchers theorize that both cash and compliments are related to an individual's sleep. In other studies, researchers have found that praise provides the right memory boost for the brain to more efficiently consolidate learning during sleep.

In addition to boosting morale, compliments can be utilized by teachers in schools and by managers in firms to boost efficiency. So the next time you notice someone else's shoes or dog, complimenting them will boost their mood, even affecting them the next day!

References: http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2012/11/09/study-receiving-a-compliment-has-same-positive-effect-as-receiving-cash/

Sleep and weight may be related.

By Irada Yunusova

Many individuals are struggling to lose weight and adjust virtually all aspects of their waking lives: the food they eat, how much they exercise, and their hobbies. However, new research indicates that sleep is also an important component.

A recent lab study of 225 healthy, non-obese individuals compared the results of two subject groups, one whose sleep was restricted between 4 am to 8 am for five consecutive nights, and another who slept 10 hours each night from 10 pm to 8 am. All individuals were presented meals at specific times, however food was available in the kitchen at all times. The results of the study indicated that individuals who stayed up late had greater caloric intake, leading to weight gain. It was also noted that the proportion of calories consumed from fat was higher during late-night hours than at other times of the day.

Other notable findings included that during sleep restriction, males gained more weight than females. Also, African Americans gained more weight than Caucasians. It was previously know that African Americans are at a greater risk for obesity and more likely to be habitual short sleepers, and data from this study suggests that the two factors may be connected.

Obesity has been a widespread concern since 69% of Americans are overweight. However, the importance of sleep is gaining recognition. With the fast-paced world of the 21st century, it is important to acknowledge that sleeping habits can influence many aspects of an individual's life, including his or her weight.

References: http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/07/01/abnormal-sleep-habits-can-lead-to-weight-gain-in-adults/56698.html

Paula Deen's Alleged Racist Comments Cause Uproar

By: Sierra Shumate

                Although it is one of the most frequently combated issues in our society, racism is still a prevalent issue we are facing today.  American celebrity chef, former cooking show host, restaurateur, author, actress, and Emmy Award-winning television personality Paula Deen changed her life for the worst last week. 
                After publicly issuing multiple racist comments against African Americans, she was made to apologize while crying on public television. On a talkshow, she brought up an African American man who worked for her, explaining that "it may be difficult to see him against the black backdrop," because he is "dark as night." (Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOOtHsYeEqg&feature=player_embedded)
                She giggled, and although laughter ensued in the audience, much of the world was silenced and provoked, seeing her comment as unnecessary, as well as racist. 
                 She explained to the public that, contrary to popular believe, she did not in any way mean anything as a harmful or racist joke, and that she is a very politically correct Southerner with modern values. She was asked if she had ever said the "N-word" in the past, and admitted to it--something that the public reacted even more strongly about, which may have even dug Deen an even deeper hole.
                 Prior to the loss of many of her contracts and her television show on the Food Network, she explained her opinions on racist jokes. "They usually target, though a group. Gays or straights, black, redneck, you know, I just don't know. I can't, myself, determine what offends another person."
                 Many of her comments have made the public very skeptical about Paula's real values, particularly because she made the entire matter extremely public. Even after her apology, Paula has lost millions of dollars, as well as contracts with multiple companies who sell her products and use her name on their brands.  
                 The New York Daily News has been doing some research, and is reporting that the loss of Deen's merchandising and licensing deals will likely end up costing her $7.5 million. In addition, she has lost another 5 million in restaurant and television deals--a total of 12.5 million dollars per year. 
Now the question rises--did her joke go too far, or did the public overreact? 

Divorce negatively affects children in future years.

By Irada Yunusova

It is clear that a divorce puts a strain on family relationships, but data now reveals that it also affects future relationships. A divorce that takes place earlier in a child's life has a greater negative effect on future parent-child relationships than one that occurs when a child is older. Divorce during early childhood leads to future insecure relationships between the parent and child, in which the child is less able to trust the parent. Divorces also influence children's future romantic relationships.

Two recent studies in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin analyzed the timing and effects of divorce on parental and romantic relationships. The first study revealed that of the 7,735 individuals surveyed, those who experienced parental divorce were less likely to view their current relationships with their parents as secure. Individuals whose parents divorced between their birth and five years old were more insecure in their current relationships with their parents than those whose parents divorced later in childhood. There is also a tendency for individuals whose parents divorced to have more anxiety with romantic relationships.

A follow-up study with 7,500 subjects focused on how a divorce influences maternal and paternal relationships. Participants were asked which of their parents had been awarded primary custody following their divorce. The results of the study indicated that children were less likely to have an insecure relationship with the parent they were living with and were more likely to have an insecure relationship with the parent they were not living with.

The results of these studies demonstrate that relationships can be negatively impacted by divorces. Also, the amount of time a child is able to spend with a parent seems to correlate with the quality of that relationship. This research brings greater understanding as to why some individuals have difficulty being open and depending on others in their lives.

References: http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/07/01/divorce-troubles-younger-kids-later-relationship-with-parents/56687.html

Sunday Night Blues

How to Recognize and Cope with Them

by Kristi Caporoso

 

    We've all been there before. You have a great weekend; plenty of relaxation and fun activities, and then on Sunday it hits you--tomorrow the week starts. You have to wake up early, you have to go to work, and have a whole plethora of things to worry about. This is nothing to be worried about--you merely have a case of the Sunday blues. LCPC Joyce Marter has several different suggestions as to how to cope with this temporary increase in anxiety and sadness.

    The first step to reigning in your Sunday blues is to increase your self-awareness. Talk to yourself and tell yourself that you are just moody and upset because it's Sunday, and that it is completely normal to feel that way. Also, being aware of this should make it easier for you to let the small stuff slide. Don't stress so much about the little things, since you know you're already in a grumpy mood.

    Once you are aware of your Sunday blues and how you are feeling, it's time to start coping with (and/or preventing) them. One effective way of doing so is being prepared for the week ahead. Taking Sunday afternoon to make sure you are prepared money-wise, gas-wise, work-wise, etc., will cause you to feel less overwhelmed and less like you have too much to worry about when the week arrives. Certain lifestyle choices, such as exercising and having a healthy dinner with some tea, can also help. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and is "nature's antidepressant." Also, having something pleasant that you do every Sunday can help to decrease those feelings of dread. Have a game night with your family, or do something you really enjoy. Something relaxing before bed is another wise choice: yoga, a bubble bath, or meditation. This promotes calm and will help you to get a good night's sleep. While getting some work done ahead of time may sound like a good idea, it is not the best. Setting aside some time on Sunday to review your plans for the week or to make a "To Do list" is okay, but trying to get "some" work done will inevitably lead to you trying to get everything done, and stressing about the work week before it starts.
    While Sunday may boost your levels of anxiety and sadness, the weekend is a time to relax and recharge for the week. Keep that in mind while you are trying to cope with your Sunday blues.

Source: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/success/2013/06/7-things-to-stop-sunday-night-anxietydepression/



Are you Addicted to Eating?

by Kristi Caporoso

Are you finding yourself particularly hungry during those three or four hours after you eat? Do you have intense cravings for food, even after you've eaten, that you feel you need to satisfy? New brain scan research reveals a common factor that causes us to overeat and feel more hungry. It all revolves around the glycemic index and the type of carbohydrates in the food you are eating. High-glycemic index carbohydrates--found in processed foods such as white bread and rice--get quickly transformed into sugar in your blood stream. This in turn leads to increased hunger, and stimulates the area of the brain that controls cravings and rewards--similar to what is involved in addiction. What's the solution? Foods that are lower in the glycemic index. Whole wheat bread and other whole wheat carbohydrates are low in the glycemic index, and therefore more likely to help keep you fuller longer. This discovery has important implications for weight loss strategies and overall healthy living.

Source: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20130626/brain-scans-suggest-food-addiction-might-be-real