Factors That Affect a Child’s Adjustment to Divorce

As difficult as a divorce may be for the people involved, there is no denying that if there are children involved in these situations, they will be affected as well. For some children who have to live through a parental divorce, it is a very difficult and trying time in their life but other children are not as severely affected. These differences may be due the different factors that affect how a child adjusts to divorce which are: 

• Severity of Conflict: If there is constant fighting and arguing in front of a child, this child is more likely to have a hard time dealing with divorce. Many times parents make their child feel like they are stuck in the middle and try to take sides. None of this helps.  It is better if parents try to keep their fighting away from the child and not involve them.
• Parents’ adjustment: The way that a child’s parents are themselves dealing with and adjusting to the divorce will influence how that child adjusts to the divorce as well. If parents are having a hard time dealing with the divorce and seem to have a hostile outlook, their children will most likely pick up on that attitude as well. Children look to their parents for ways in which they should react. If parents are too busy fighting with each other instead of trying to build their relationship with their children and build stability in their home, the child may end up confused.
• Information the child knows about the divorce: It is important that the child is not completely in the dark about the divorce but it’s also important that they not be aware of confusing, negative information. If they are living through this divorce with their parents, they should know what is going on but not know too much. Depending on the child’s age, they may not be able to comprehend all aspects of the divorce. In order to not confuse them, it is better to only provide them with the most important information such as how it may affect them and their living situation. If children are getting no information about what is going on, it is likely they may begin to make assumptions and could perhaps start to blame themselves.
• Level of Social Support: Having people around them to talk to and help through such a difficult time is very important to children dealing with divorce. Parents should encourage that the child remains close with both sides of the family. It may be difficult for parents to help their child as they are dealing with stress of their own but it is important that they still try to find time to provide emotional support for their children.

       If a parent sees that their child continues to struggle with the effects of divorce, seeking therapy may be helpful. A therapist will be able to help the child work through their emotions and feelings about the divorce.

By: Stephanie Lopez

Source:  http://www.extension.purdue.edu/providerparent/family-child%20relationships/EffectDivorce.htm

Breaking Bad Habits: A Psychological Viewpoint

By Kellie McClain

                Preventing the occurrence of unwanted habits and behaviors can pose as extremely stressful and frustrating, especially if the habit is deeply embedded into an individual’s routine. The main problem that those with bad habits experience when attempting to prevent the behavior is discouragement due to increase resistance. Most often, someone will take action toward preventing the behavior and make substantial progress, but once prevention reaches its peak difficulty, that individual then gives up and loses any progress that was made.

                Tackling this issue from a psychological perspective could help individuals understand how the process of habit breaking works, which will give them more knowledge and motivation when encountering difficulties.  From a psychological view, habit forming occurs under a learning process knowing as conditioning. An individual learns to perform a specific behavior based on the rewards that are received by that behavior. These rewards then make the behavior stronger and turn it into a habit. These habits can only be broken through extinction, which is the process through which a conditioned response decreases or is eliminated completely.

                Through the process of extinction, one will experience increased frustration and difficulty with preventing the behavior. At the peak of this frustration, extinction bursts, which are known as explosions of unwanted behavior, are often displayed by the individual. It is at this point that many individuals get discouraged and give up. However extinction bursts are often followed by complete extinction of the behavior, which means the habit has been successfully broken.

                The take home message for breaking bad habits is to keep in mind the mental process that occur during extinction and to have faith that this process will lead to eventual success. Next time you are trying to rid of an unwanted habit and encourage significant difficulty and frustration, remember that this only means that you are getting closer to reaching your goal.

SOURCE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201311/putting-thoughts-action/bursting-through-bad-habits

Teenage Violence; Raising Awareness for Teen Dating Violence

By Kellie McClain

                Conversations about strangers, bullying, drug use, and sex are commonly had between a teenager and their parent or guardian because a majority of parents know how important it is to discuss these topics. What most often is overlooked, however, is dating violence among teens. Parents of teenagers are normally shocked to hear that one in three teens have been victims of dating violence or have been affected by abusive relationships. What is most unfortunate is that this information is all too often not discovered until after their teen experiences such violent abuse and harrowing effects. Violence occurring in teenage romantic relationship is a topic that unfortunately most individuals are not fully aware of, especially in terms of its severity and frequency.

                Teen dating violence has become an unheard and unspoken epidemic that can occur right in front of parents. It often continues to go un-intervened if the parent lacks awareness. Teens are unlikely stop the abusive situation themselves since most teens are not educated enough on the topic to take the situation seriously. The most common flaw in the __ about teenage dating violence is that the victim is to blame. This was the condition in the recent polls and presentations performed by the Boston Public Health Commission. If teens continue to retain this view, they will be less likely to report abuse, seek help from others, or take any action themselves to prevent further violence. In addition, teenagers are in stages of development in which they do not have a concrete sense of self and, therefore, do not have a good grasp on what create and define a healthy relationship. Parents are also guilty of flawed viewpoints on abusive relationships, often excusing excessive control as “puppy love” and failing to see the severity of the situation.

                If susceptible individuals wish to see any change in these statistics, it is crucial that parents and teens become conscious and fully knowledgeable about the root causes of teen dating violence and how to manage and prevent it. This lack of awareness must be addressed at multiple levels including school districts, parents, and peers through focus groups, school presentations, pediatric screenings, media coverage, the spread of “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.” This month dedicated to awareness of teen dating violence was recently passed by congress and can be implemented along with other strategies exhibited by activists groups as well as by citizens at the local and individual level. Since these acts of violence occur most commonly with those who the victim knows, it is essential that teens be aware of the warning signs of abuse and feel comfortable with reaching out to those they trust.

SOURCE: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2010/03/epidemic.aspx

Deindividuation: Masking Mischief on Halloween

http://www.fondecrans.be/fond/halloween/halloween003.jpg

As it is said, there is strength in numbers. Those who find themselves in a group hold more power than if they were alone. Mischief designates itself to one night a year in the United States. That night, commonly, is adjacent with the candy grubbing, mystical holiday known as Halloween. Why is "mischief night" affiliated with Halloween? Why not Easter? Or Columbus Day? According to Ed Diener and his application of de-individuation, Halloween offers us the opportunity to shake free of our identity, an identity that keeps us responsible for our actions.

De-individuation means exactly what it sounds like: "de-individual." The reason late October may be a more susceptible time for mischief to ensue or for childish vandalism to occur is because of this loss of individualism. As Diener says, putting on a mask, fitting into a costume, or even pulling your hood up all contribute to your loss of identity, which in turn contributes to your uninhibited, or mischievous, behavior. A mere costume leads to an often unconscious "loss of self-observation and self evaluation, with a lowered concern for social evaluation." This idea makes one "indistinguishable" from the environment and therefore more inclined to act out of moral character. 

Halloween also feeds de-individuation through its group dynamic: children and adolescents celebrate Halloween in groups. Those who are out and about on October 31st are most likely in a group, a group that shares the aim of de-individualizing. As Diener also points out, being in a group increases one's likeliness to engage in uninhibited behavior because of the anonymity one holds while in a group. This "mob mentality," where one unconsciously frees themselves from moral responsibility within a group, is supported further by Halloween. This allows even more "mischief."   

http://dorianocarta.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/pumkin_4_mischief_night_529682120.jpg

Diener's 1970's experiment is the root of these claims. Twenty-seven houses were selected as deceptive laboratories on Halloween in order to observe children and their morality in relation to individuation and group settings. The researchers formed categories of "children subjects" depending on if children were in a group or alone and if they were asked their names at the door or kept anonymous. The adult that would answer the door would greet the trick-or-treaters and ask them to take only one piece of candy. The adult would then walk back into the house, leaving the children alone with this sugar-fueled moral dilemma. Should we obey and take only one piece? Or should I take a handful and run?

The results showed that the four different categories of children differed, depending on if their identity was revealed and if they were in a group. The category least likely to commit this Halloween sin was the children who arrived at the house by themselves and were then asked their name. This enhances the child's individualism to the adult, not only by giving his or her name, but by eliminating all other possible culprits he could theoretically hide behind. The category most likely, at about 60%, to cheat the Halloween system and take more candy against the adult's will was the children who were in a group and were not asked their name. More than half the time, with their identities protected through anonymity and group mentality, children acted uninhibited and broke the rules. 

Individuality grants us responsibility, which is valuable in most instances, but not when you're up to no good. Group mischief provokes and protects, a harmful combination. 

-Ryan Scanlon


Works Used:

http://proteus.brown.edu/13things/7452

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/02/10/deindividuation/
(also a book ^^^)