Factors That Affect a Child’s Adjustment to Divorce

As difficult as a divorce may be for the people involved, there is no denying that if there are children involved in these situations, they will be affected as well. For some children who have to live through a parental divorce, it is a very difficult and trying time in their life but other children are not as severely affected. These differences may be due the different factors that affect how a child adjusts to divorce which are: 

• Severity of Conflict: If there is constant fighting and arguing in front of a child, this child is more likely to have a hard time dealing with divorce. Many times parents make their child feel like they are stuck in the middle and try to take sides. None of this helps.  It is better if parents try to keep their fighting away from the child and not involve them.
• Parents’ adjustment: The way that a child’s parents are themselves dealing with and adjusting to the divorce will influence how that child adjusts to the divorce as well. If parents are having a hard time dealing with the divorce and seem to have a hostile outlook, their children will most likely pick up on that attitude as well. Children look to their parents for ways in which they should react. If parents are too busy fighting with each other instead of trying to build their relationship with their children and build stability in their home, the child may end up confused.
• Information the child knows about the divorce: It is important that the child is not completely in the dark about the divorce but it’s also important that they not be aware of confusing, negative information. If they are living through this divorce with their parents, they should know what is going on but not know too much. Depending on the child’s age, they may not be able to comprehend all aspects of the divorce. In order to not confuse them, it is better to only provide them with the most important information such as how it may affect them and their living situation. If children are getting no information about what is going on, it is likely they may begin to make assumptions and could perhaps start to blame themselves.
• Level of Social Support: Having people around them to talk to and help through such a difficult time is very important to children dealing with divorce. Parents should encourage that the child remains close with both sides of the family. It may be difficult for parents to help their child as they are dealing with stress of their own but it is important that they still try to find time to provide emotional support for their children.

       If a parent sees that their child continues to struggle with the effects of divorce, seeking therapy may be helpful. A therapist will be able to help the child work through their emotions and feelings about the divorce.

By: Stephanie Lopez

Source:  http://www.extension.purdue.edu/providerparent/family-child%20relationships/EffectDivorce.htm