Help Your Child Become a Better Person

By Pamela O'Connor

Every parent wants to give their child the best life possible. They want to give them the life they didn't get to have; they want to give them better opportunities and more successful futures. Every child should be given the chance to have success; unfortunately, when they become privileged they often feel too entitled to stay grounded. They often become smug, demanding, self-centered and believe the world really revolves around them and their desires. There are principles to help keep privileged kids from turning into “spoiled brats” while still giving them the tools they need to succeed.

                  The first principle is to model the behavior you want to see in your children. Kids learn from example and imitate what they see. In order to raise effective adults, you must continuously play the role you want your child to emulate. You do not want them to act like entitled brats that can get anything they want without working for it, so you must not act that way either. As we all know, actions speak louder than words so working hard, doing kind deeds and treating others with compassion will help your child to realize that these are the qualities that they need to exhibit of a mature, responsible adult.

                It is also an important principle to teach your children that everyone needs to be given equal opportunities. No one has the right to believe that they are better than anyone else. People may have different talents or abilities, but that does not make them a better person or someone who deserves more. Financial and educational status should not be a matter of judgment, and teaching your children to treat everyone fairly should be enforced very early on. You must remain loving, but correct your child if they seem to believe they are better than others based on their background.

                Spending time volunteering, and helping people less fortunate is another principle that can help to keep your child grounded and appreciate the opportunities he or she has been given. People who have experienced helping others more often tend to develop compassion, appreciation for life’s opportunities, learn the value of hard work, improve their interpersonal relationships and learn to get along better with others. It is important to help others gain equal opportunities by coming together and helping one another. All three of these principles will hopefully help prevent children who are privileged from becoming narcissistic and entitled as they grow up.

Reference: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-the-right-thing/201310/three-principles-keep-privileged-kids-becoming-jerks

Ways to boost your creativity

www.entrepreneurhearts.com

To label yourself an "uncreative" type is a cop out. As my professor would say, "We can all run, can't we? It doesn't mean we are all Olympic athletes." Every single person has some creative potential, some just seem to harness is better than others. What separates an average Joe brain from a Michelangelo brain? Not much, at first. Michelangelo probably just practiced, and practiced, and practiced. This interesting article at hongkiat.com talks about how, we too, can get started on practicing.

Jordan Driediger is the CEO of his original company, DM2 Studios, which is designed to help support the creativity and inspiration of others. Driediger is the one to credit for these 7 tips to help strengthen your creative juices.

1) Find Your Source
            This refers to your "outlet." What are your interests? What gets you excited? Being stuck in a profession/field of study that doesn't inspire you on a day to day basis certainly can hinder your creative output. Finding what you like requires an open mind because you never know what you like until you try. Examples: musical expression; literary expression; creative problem solving; visual art

2) Surround Yourself With Excellence
            Once you find your source, read up on it. Research and learn to appreciate the pioneers in that field. Become consumed. Agree with some, disagree with others. Study their process and methods, extract what you like and use your own. Examples: an interest in modern art (source) would lead to research and the appreciation of Jackson Pollock and the "drip and drop" method, use this method to generate your own expression; an interest in satirical literature (source) would lead to research and the appreciation for 20th century author Kurt Vonnegut.

3) Just Create
            The hardest part of any creative process is starting it. While some inspirations are sudden and spontaneous and others are intricate and thought out, taking that first step is the most important part. According to Driediger, the process can be a test of resiliency. Many historic minds had many, many attempts and failures before reaching their desired product. Examples: free association writing; doodling

4) Cross Creative Borders
            Many approaches to creativity may overlap each other. Using principles in one discipline may enlighten you to use them in another discipline. These connections, in themselves, are an indicator of your creativity. Examples: implementing the structure of the military when raising a family; using sports and team building metaphors in the business world.

5) Limit Amusement
            A very interesting fact addressed by Driediger:

"Your creative source is known as your "muse". This is an ancient Greek word meaning to be absorbed in thought or inspired. Amusement is the absence of thought or inspiration."

Things that satisfy us on a superficial level (T.V., video games) allow us to be passive. We are not actively engaging our creative process and we can foolishly allow these activities to replace our imagination. Driediger is not condemning all electronic stimulation, but a limited moderation is suggested. Use television occasionally to help expand your mind, but dependence, of course, is unhealthy. This is not to say being creative is all work and no play. Driediger implores you to seek mediums that not only enhance your creativity, but also entertain you. Examples: books on tape; documentaries 

6) Take Care of Yourself
            A very underrated factor that plays an important role in creative production is health, both mental and physical. Chronic ideas that linger throughout the day are said to be damaging to your creative spirit. The best inspiration process often occurs with strong ideas that are critically thought out within the span of a few hours. Driediger advises, when it comes to creativity, quality is superior to quantity. As for health habits: sleep is always recommended to keep the mind sharp, eating well throughout the day to maintain a stable blood glucose level, and making sure your areas of work are tidy (there is no need to spend extra mental effort in figuring out where you left something).    

7) Ignore the Scoffers
            Ignore is a strong word, but I like where Driediger is coming from. The world is full of haters and doubters. Is it really worth it to weigh each negative response in an attempt to alter your personal creation? Absolutely not. While constructive criticism is valuable, you shouldn't be fearful of expressing yourself and taking chances. The fact of the matter is: all great creative minds had plenty of doubters. Monumental ideas make people uncomfortable, they may challenge people's stable point of views. It is only natural that some will be less receptive than others. Driediger would advise you not to worry. It's cliche, but you should "do you." Don't stress the hate, embrace the hate. It will only benefit you in your process of developing your unique, creative product. 

-Ryan Scanlon


Works Used:
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/increase-creativity/

Relieve Stress by Lending a Helping Hand

Young people these days seem very skeptical to helping others because they won't get anything in return. But helping others has proven to be beneficial for both sides.  These days there is too much emphasis on material wealth, and many people are becoming very greedy.  Many people do not want to part with their money; instead, they want more and more.  We are becoming a society of consumers.  The American society is filling up with greed and arrogance, and as a result, good deeds are done without sincerity and with a selfish ulterior motive often.  If a person's main motivation for doing a good deed is not to help another person or group, then they will not reap the rewards which come from giving.  If the acts of services are done sincerely, then the improvement of someone’s life will be greater, and that will improve the helpers’ lives as well.

Giving has been described as a miracle drug for health and well-being.  In a study by scientists from the University of North Carolina and UCLA found that participants whose happiness stemmed from consumption had a higher possibility of developing conditions such as diabetes and cancer than those whose happiness came from volunteering and providing services to others.  The hedonic participants also had a more likely chance to die earlier.  All the statistics indicate that helping others make your life better.  People say that you may not make as much money, and it can hold you back, but money is not important if you are not happy, so please do yourself a favor and help others.     

By: Paul Kang

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services

New York & New Jersey

212-996-3939    201-368-3700

Reference: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/how-to-immediately-improv_b_3895912.html

Couples Counseling: Friendly Fighting Can Be Healthy

By Kellie McClain

No two people in the world are exactly the same. Thus, it is inevitable that two individuals in a relationship will encounter differences between each other. Rather than avoiding these encounters and suppressing negative feelings, couple’s therapists have suggested that couples use techniques to face differences in order to elicit healthy and constructive responses and outcomes. This requires the implementation of “friendly fighting”, a term used to describe techniques used in dyadic arguments that help both individuals successfully express themselves without detrimental effects toward the relationship. Below are a few tips couples can use to ensure they are arguing in a respectful and productive way.

1. Embrace disagreements and conflicts: In addition to these instances being inevitable, they may also be healthy in terms of helping you and your partner see what aspects need progression and growth.
2. Attack the problem, not your partner: Disagreeing results in negative consequences when it leads to personal attacks on the individuals involved. Instead, focus your energy and attention on how the argument can be resolved.
3. Be respectfully attuned to the opposing view: Make sure to view every conflict from both perspectives in order to think critically about the underlying issue and how to handle it.
4. Speak softly: Attempting to speak over your partner shows that you only value your point of view, which leads your partner to express themselves similarly. This turns a civilized argument into a screaming match that does not have a positive ending.
5. Ask questions: Asking your partners questions about their point of view shows that you value their opinion and care about their needs. It will help you to get a better grasp on both sides of the issue and learn how to better reach an agreement.
6. Make peace: The most important part of arguments is to make sure the end results does not yield any lingering hard feelings that can build up and cause more severe problems down the road.

SOURCE: http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-rules-for-friendly-fighting-for-couples/0001342?all=1

Couples Counseling: Pre-Marital Counseling Helps Foster Happy, Healthy Marriages

By Kellie McClain

Pre-marital counseling is a healthy way to ensure that a future marital relationship has a strong basis to build off of. At the time of engagement, relationships between the engaged couples are likely to be at a very strong point in their relationship. That may be why many couples, especially those not encouraged by a religious community, do not find it necessary to seek counseling at such a time. 

Regardless of how strong any couples relationship may be, problems and shortcomings between one another will eventually arise. The easiest options may seem to be to dust the issues under the rug, but without directly addressing any relationship pitfalls immediately after they occur, they may build upon each other, creating tension and communication issues that become increasingly difficult to solve. It has been shown that the earlier couple seeks counseling, the more likely they are to overcome any current or impending problems. 

Some therapists claim the reason behind a couple’s reluctance to seek counseling early on in their relationship or marriage is due to fear that exposing problems through counseling will cause further issues to surface and will put the relationship at risk. These concerns, however, are most often counter intuitive. Admitting to and being open about rising issues within a relationship may seem intimidating, but doing so with a professional counselor can be very beneficial and can strengthen the relationship.

SOURCE:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201109/benefits-pre-marital-counseling-successful-marriage

Couples Counseling: Communication 101

By Kellie McClain

The number one reason couples seek counseling is due to problems with communication. Good communication is the basis of every relationship and is especially essential in maintaining long term relationship between intimate couples. Virtually every problem addressed in couples counseling leads back to the root problem of communication issues between the couple.

Since communication takes up a large part of our lives, it is no wonder that we often encourage issues expressing ourselves and interpreting what others are expressing. In order to successfully address these problems, it is essential to understand the basic structure of how communication works. The sender of a particular message will attempt to express a need, thought, or feeling through a coding process for the receiver to obtain. That message is decoded by the receiver into their own personal level of understanding and interpretation. Each time there is an issue with expressing and interpreting information, it is due to an issue with either the sender or receiver or both.

The sender most often experiences issues resulting from an inability to code their message properly in such a way that allows the receiver to easily interpret the correct meaning of the message. Another issue the sender may encounter could be involving the complexity of their own thoughts and feelings and difficulty with their own understanding of those thoughts. The receiver may also cause communication difficulty from decoding the messages inaccurately through inattention, lack of skills, or adding additional, inaccurate meanings. Whether communication difficulties between couples are due to any one of these issues or a combination of them, there are techniques the couple can apply which will result in a healthier, more effective communication. These techniques include:

1. Be aware of your own communication issues and not just the issues of your partner.
2. Choose your words and actions wisely based on the receiver.
3. Double check with your sender when receiving a message to make sure you understand the message correctly

If difficulties in these areas of communication continue, visiting a therapist for couples counseling can be very effective in identifying the core problems and how to correct them.

SOURCE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201307/basics-communication

Science of Sarcasm

"No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend."




Sarcasm, irony, and dry humor are all enjoyable forms of mockery, for the mocker. The one who is mocked normally gets teased through these mediums, taking it lightly and moving on. Psychology Today's Dr. Clifford Lazarus digs deeper, indicating sarcasm's actual harmful roots. "Sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor," according to Lazarus, and it can potentially disrupt personal relationships. Cutting this underlying negativity out will improve your relationships and boost your overall well being; behind every "joke" is some truth, a "just kidding" is really a cover up. The term sarcasm stems from the Greek term "sarkazein" meaning "to tear or strip the flesh off." This brutal image is the basis for today's word, further implying the psychological disdain sarcasm is meant to inflict. Next time, before laughing at a clever jab, Lazarus would advise thinking about its cruel meaning instead.

Does sarcasm normally take the form of teasing? Yes. Are there some that take sarcastic comments as insults? Yes. But instead of entirely sympathizing with the victims of sarcasm, a lot could be gained from its contributions. Lazarus does point out that sarcasm can bring an element of clever wit into a conversation. Used in moderation, sarcasm is excellent in spicing up an interaction, forcing the participants to take a break from the literal. This sort, however, must be heavy on humor and light on bite. While being considered close cousins, there is a line that separates humor from sarcasm. Humor can lack the ridiculing nature that its cynical counterpart cannot. It is difficult to exemplify sarcasm in a way that does not belittle somebody. Because of this, sarcasm is potentially relationship threatening. Pure humor has the same beneficial qualities, with minimal hurtful backlash.


-Ryan Scanlon

Works Referenced:

 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201206/think-sarcasm-is-funny-think-again

"No, Groucho is not my real name, I am breaking it in for a friend." -Groucho Marx
http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/sarcastic-quotes.html

Teen Drug Use Can Create Bigger Problems Later On in Life

By Pamela O'Connor

It is normal for every child to want to experiment. It is a natural curiosity that everyone is aware of. However, when it comes to drug use and alcohol consumption, experimenting should be taken a lot more seriously and not seen as harmless. This “phase” can turn into a life-long issue, ruining any chance of children having successful jobs or happy marriages and families.  A report from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University found that nearly half of American high school students are using addictive drugs. Many of these students continue to become more and more addicted throughout college and soon enough develop an issue that sticks with them for the rest of their lives.

The degree of risk is hard to predict, so one will not know which child will become addicted and which will not. Children are at a higher risk if they have a family history of mental illness or addiction. It is also higher if they have difficulties coping with stress or strained family ties. Some teens who party occasionally will never develop an addiction, but we will never be able to predict who will develop an addiction, and so the use of drugs and alcohol must be prevented as much as possible.

Since teens in general are unpredictable and moody, it is often difficult to identify signs of drug abuse. They may develop different sleeping habits, spend more time with their friends, or become disinterested in activities they used to love. Yes, children are always changing and what they like will change as well, but if they exhume signs of serious change or distress it may be time to take a closer look at what they are doing. 

Being passive about a drug use situation or ignoring it as “just a stage” will lead to more problems down the road. Parents must send a clear, zero-tolerance message that will let their children know that they as a parent care and love them enough to prevent addiction from ruining their lives. This requires active involvement; taking the time to get to know how they are changing and what they are doing. Your child is developing lifelong habits and goals, and if they see you take their behavior seriously, they will do the same. If your child is using drugs, your concern will help prevent the problem from continuing into adulthood. If they are not using, it will help prevent it from happening and will strengthen the bond between parent and child.  

Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201310/teen-drug-use-phase-or-growing-addict

Effects of Pornography through Internet and Web Use on Young Children and Kids

By Kellie McClain

Today's culture displays a high dependency on internet usage, making the use of internet by young children increasingly common. With current youth spending more and more time online, the threat of exposure to internet pornography rises considerably. Many children rely on internet usage for several aspects of their daily lives and are likely to spend a majority of their time on the internet unattended by an adult. Whether a deliberate search is conducted or exposure is unintended, it is extremely easy to come across pornographic advertisements, videos, and images on a wide variety of websites.

Statistics show that young males are more likely to deliberately seek out pornographic websites than females, and that such searches increase in likelihood with age. There have been many correlational studies regarding the relationship between the amount of exposure any given child has to internet pornography and the attitudes of that child regarding sex as well as their sexual activity. These studies show that there is a strong relationship between higher views of pornographic images and viewing sex as nothing more than a physical act. This correlation was highest among males.

However, parents are not at a loss. There are ways in which parents can buffer the negative effects of online pornographic images, since parental influence can have significant effects on how children interpret these images and how it affects their attitudes toward sex. According to a recent study one major factor that can greatly reduce a child’s exposure to such images would be appropriate limitation or monitoring of internet activity, as well as setting up security software to limit access to certain websites.

Ways to properly educate our youth to help them develop healthy views of sex is currently still being debated. There is support for both restrictions on availability of such information as well as expansion of sexual education. Many believe that children will engage in and become knowledgeably of sexual activity regardless of restrictions created by authorities. This belief supports the idea that expansion of sexual education for our youth will be the most effective way to foster healthy views and activity regarding sex.

SOURCE: http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov07/webporn.aspx

The Effects of Childhood Abuse

Children Who Are Abused Suffer Psychological as well as Physical Effects               

                 

                Childhood abuse can lead to long lasting psychological effects as those who were abused reach adulthood. Recent studies show that childhood abuse may also strongly affect the physical health of abused children as adults as well. A University of California – Los Angeles Campus study is showing that adults who were abused as children are may suffer from issues with their physical health and a compromised regulatory system. Children who dealt with abuse have grown up to suffer from such conditions as high cholesterol, cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndrome as well as other physical health issues. One of the research scientists from the study, Judith E. Carroll, says that if children have more love from their parents or guardians, they will be more protected from the affects of abuse and increased biological risk in the future. 

                The researchers in this study had approximately 756 participants who had also been part of the Coronary Artery Risk Development in Young Adults (CARDIA) study. They measured 18 biological markers including heart rate, cholesterol, waist circumference, blood pressure, blood sugar regulation, etc. Falling in the higher range on these measures meant they had a higher biological risk for disease. In order to measure their childhood problems and stressors, they were given a self-report scale called the Risky Families Questionnaire. Those who reported high amounts of parental warmth when younger had lower risk in adulthood and on the other end, those who reported very low parental warmth and affection rated the highest on the multisystem risk scale. The researchers believe that the stress associated with childhood abuse may alter how a person responds to stress as an adult which makes it more difficult for the physical and emotional arousal to be shut down. While the researchers in this study do not say that childhood abuse causes high risk to physical illness as an adult, they do believe that it plays a large role and should be studied further so that early interventions will be encouraged.

By: Stephanie Lopez

Source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/09/130926205005.htm

Government Shutdown: A Couple's Therapy View

By Kellie McClain

The recent government shutdown continues to have a direct detrimental effect on the citizen's of the United States. This relationship can be seen as very similar to a dysfunctional marital relationship. When two spouses (democrats and republicans) fight, the citizens under their power (the spouses' children) suffer. According to recent reports by Supreme Court Justice Scalia, the government currently has very limited if any communication between parties and has been busy criticizing one another and finger pointing instead of problem solving through a more understanding and appreciative perspective. If the government were to have a session with a couples therapists they would appear to be at risk for divorce. As many people know, this can have harrowing effects on children, or in this case, US citizens.

While political parties continue to bicker they become more and more neglectful of their responsibilities to fill the needs of citizens. Such neglect can lead to certain people being unable to receive paychecks or run their businesses. With our government finding themselves in such harmful situations due to both parties lack of effort and ability to find a happy medium, we hardly seem to be in a strong enough political stance to assist other countries in practicing democracy.

In simple terms, a solution that most couples therapists would give to the quarreling parties would be to handle the situation maturely. Many arguments can be solved if both sides displayed reasoning and understanding. The government must focus not on the importance of their individual standing, but in terms of solving the problem at hand. Government ruling should not be about gaining power, criticizing adversaries, and ignoring opposing opinions. In order for the crisis to be solved and for the US to get back on track the government must carefully analyse both sides of the argument and come to a reasonable agreement for the sake of the citizens.

Good communication is the key to any successful relationship, be it a marriage or the leaders of our country. Communication involves listening as well as expressing yourself. It seems that the democratic and republican parties could benefit from couples counseling or marriage counseling to help them communicate in a healthier, more constructive way.

SOURCE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201310/marriage-therapists-view-our-dysfunctional-government

Women and Drinking Problems

Paul Kang

                When it comes to drinking alcohol, studies have shown that there are gender differences.  Women have less body water, and they have less of the enzyme for alcohol metabolism in the stomach.  Therefore, women reach higher blood alcohol levels than men of the same weight consuming the same portion of alcohol over an equal time period.  Women tend to drink and start to depend on it because of negative emotions, and often it is from interpersonal stimulation, alone and at home.  Adult men are about twice as likely to have substance-related disorders as women; this also includes non-alcohol related disorders, but during the ages of 12-17, the rates are similar for both genders.  Women usually drink later in life than men, but they tend to develop alcohol-related issues more quickly.  Females who drink regularly are at greater risk than males for many health problems like liver damage, cardiovascular damage, brain damage, and cancer.  

                A team of clinical researchers at Rutgers University has been doing randomized clinical trials since 1997 to develop and test treatments for alcohol dependent women.  The average SES of the women in the research samples were relatively well off, in the $90,000 range.  Alcohol Cognitive Behavioral Couple Therapy (ABCT) modality and Alcohol Cognitive Behavioral Individual Therapy (ABIT) modality were used. The ABIT was better with engaging and retaining treatment, but the ABCT resulted in having greater maintenance of the gains during and after the treatment. 

                Female Specific Cognitive Behavior Therapy (FS-CBT) is an alcohol-focused skills-based program, and it has been tested and developed over the past nine years.  Its goals are to help women abstain from alcohol and enhance empowerment.  Much of the program's success has to do with social support.  It has been proven to greatly reduce drinking problems, and that also leads to less anxiety and depression.  This type of therapy has given much hope for future women with substance-related issues.

References:
Epstein, Elizabeth E. "What's New in Research on Women with Alcohol Problems." New Jersey Psychology Fall 2012: 41-43. 

Channeling Emotion Accurately: A look into alexithymia

http://www.damninteresting.com/the-emotional-bankruptcy-of-alexithymia/

Study
It is consciously clear in the human mind where each of us stand in terms of traditional intelligence. Facts, logic, and comprehension are all things humans are primed to learn. Emotional intelligence, however, rarely receives the same attention. According to Dr. Ross Buck of Psychology Today, understanding and communicating one's emotions can be just as critical.

The term alexithymia is defined as "a lack of effective vocabulary for recognizing and labeling feelings and desires." Dr. Buck engineered a study that looked at the components behind this trait, involving a two sided emotion-perception approach. The "sender" of the emotion would be shown a series of color slides that were coded as "familiar-people, scenic, unpleasant, and unusual," and the "receiver" would watch these emotions play out in the sender on a screen and would press a button at points they thought were meaningful (a clear expression of emotion). At these meaningful points in the sender's portion, physiological measures were noted in the sender such as skin conductance deflections, heart rate, and blood pressure. Through these measures, the findings revolved around amount of emotional display, accuracy of emotion communication, and physiological arousal.

As expected, senders with low emotional display activity tended to struggle with overall emotion communication. The physiological response was high, however, in these senders, perhaps indicating a nervous, "tensing up" effect. Adversely, senders with high emotional display activity showed strength in overall emotion communication and minimal physiological arousal.

However, Dr. Buck goes on to explain that, in clinical trials, too much emotional display may in fact be counter-intuitive. For those who may be over-emotional or have behavioral problems, accurate emotions may be difficult to formulate when given certain cues. These people may over-think or just overreact to these stimuli, resulting in faulty emotion communication. Below is Dr. Buck's scale describing alexithymia:  


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spontaneous-emotion/201006/emotional-expression-emotional-communication-and-alexithymia

There are those who have under-expressive emotional display activity (the left side of the graph) who also have high nerves and tense physiological tendencies, this portion of the graph characterizes those with hypoexpressive alexithymia.
There are those who have over-expressive emotional display activity (the right side of the graph) who tend to have lower physiological tendencies, this portion characterizes those with hyperexpressive alexithymia.
The middle portion of the graph (the top of the bell curve) show those who hold balance. Their emotional expression is neither too much nor too little and their response is average in regards to physiology. This is the desired demographic because with this balance, there is accurate emotional communication and perception which, consequently, means their emotional intelligence is very strong.

Reaction
As difficult as it may be to look at emotion objectively, this study came to an accurate conclusion. Conveying emotion is a subtle art. Some people get their point across accurately through a combination of verbal communication, facial expressions, body language, and other nonverbal cues; a constant balancing act that takes years to master. Some people struggle with it. As Dr. Buck describes, some may just have problems communicating emotion because of their lack of emotion itself. Others have problems communicating because they just have too much to express. Like a log jam at the lumber mill, there are only so many emotions that can be go out at once. For one to express accurate emotions that are congruent to what the sender is feeling, Dr. Buck talks about balance.

A lot in the field of psychology comes down to the terms: balance, stability, and moderation. Emotion is no different. A strong emotional understanding comes with moderate expression and communication. The definition of "moderate" depends largely on the individual's personal preferences and environment (making "subjective" another key psychological term). This uniform emotional equation is not meant to diagnose. Alexithymia is classified as a personality trait, not a disorder, but its role in relationships and marriage cannot be ignored. In any intimate relationship where emotion communication is crucial, alexithymia poses a problem. Without the ability to accurately express one's emotions, an interpersonal relationship will suffer and may result in both partners feeling isolated.

-Ryan Scanlon

Works Used:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spontaneous-emotion/201006/emotional-expression-emotional-communication-and-alexithymia