Anorexia and Bulimia Should Not Be Made Fun Of

 

By Pamela O'Connor

 

From the “Anna Rexia” Halloween costume in 2011 to the new controversial article “5 Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder”, it has been shown that eating disorders are not taken as seriously as they should be. The costume itself showcases what an anorexic girl’s skeleton would look like, and was banned from stores. Unfortunately it was brought back, with the message that it would be funny to dress up as an anorexic on Halloween. Essentially, this poked fun at a serious mental disorder that can cause long term effects and sometimes even death.

Interestingly the article is attracting much more negative feedback than the costume. “5 Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder” was posted on a website named “Return of Kings” by the author under the pseudo name Truthmosis. He/She starts the article by saying that eating disorders are luxuries designated for the white, wealthy girls. He also states that a classic eating disorder can predict a lot of traits about a woman and these traits end up being desirable to today’s American man. He also makes a side note to clear up that this article does not pertain to “fatties with no self-control”, only to girls with anorexia or bulimia, because they are considered to be the more attractive diseases.

The article then goes on to list the reasons that a man should date a girl with an eating disorder, insulting more and more women with every word. He believes that when a woman is fighting a disease such as anorexia or bulimia, she will improve her overall looks because she has become so obsessed with them. She will never be fat, and will care about her clothes and appearance in general, showing his narcissistic and superficial self in an even more obvious way. Another reason he states is that she will cost less money, meaning you can bring her to nice, expensive restaurants and only spend a minimal amount. This is because she will only order dishes such as a side salad, or whatever communal food you order, so sometimes you can even finish off her plate if you would like. This unfortunately encourages the disease, instead of trying to help the person you are dating to be happier and healthier and to value her for who she is and not only what she looks like.

                Another advantage according to Truthmosis is a girl’s low self-esteem. He considers it a good thing that she will be vulnerable and thinks too many women have a high level of confidence for no reason. He mistakenly believes these women will apologize more readily and will be modest, craving nothing more than your approval. And since this article states that eating disorders are only for the wealthy, he assumes that these girls have their own money, which will enable them to pay for things or buy you gifts. Truthmosis ends this article by saying that girls with eating disorders will also be better in bed, because according to the author, girls considered “crazy” make better partners in bed.

                Petitions have been written and people have more than shared their opinions about this outrageous article. Eating disorders, in any form, are a serious mental illnesses and affect the person as well as those around them, negatively. Nothing about their suffering is positive or fun. These diseases are not to be made fun of but are to be helped and healed. Authors like this make it harder to see the danger of these illnesses and instead turn them into a joke or dating game. It is sad that such uninformed negative opinions exist and even worse, that they give people distorted inaccurate information. Such irresponsible opinions can be taken seriously by mentally ill patients and can have a negative effect on ones struggling with this disease.

Article Source: http://www.returnofkings.com/21313/5-reasons-to-date-a-girl-with-an-eating-disorder

 

 

The Cognitive Reasons Behind Lying

           

 

 

           Lying is universally known as having a negative connotation. As children, we are continuously scolded any time we are caught lying. As we get older, we try to prevent guilt by using term such as “white lie” or “fib”. Yet, we has humans will inevitably lie throughout our lives. Why is it that we put ourselves through such a guilty and shameful process when we know it’s wrong?

            One answer could be to say that it is natural. No individual is perfect, and even if we are completely aware that something is morally wrong, we still may occasionally slip up. Another explanation backed up by psychological research, is that we are most likely to display a specific behavior when that behavior is reinforced through a variable-ratio schedule of reward. This means that an individual will never know how much reward he or she will receive with the occurrence of a particular behavior, or if there will be reward at all. So when we lie, it is to see if we will get away with it.

            If executed successfully, lying can free us from awkward situations, prevent us from hurting the feelings of others, and enhance our social status. Most of the time, the mere chance of such rewards being reaped will convince us to take the risk. This type of prioritization is shown in any species with a well developed forebrain, since these types of species often deem socialization an important aspect of survival.

 Kellie McClain

SOURCE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-dolphin-divide/201309/why-do-we-lie

Mental Disorders and the Holidays: Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress, Alcoholism, Depression, and Eating Disorders This Holiday Season

By Kellie McClain

The holiday season is filled with joy and happiness, spent with loved family members, peaceful quality time, and all around humbleness, gratefulness, and best wishes for everyone. So it seems as displayed by the media and popular culture. However, this is not always the case, and if you feel this description is far from accurate in terms of your personal experience, you are not alone. The holidays bring about stress and mixed emotions for everyone, but can have an especially detrimental effect on those with preexisting mental illness.

This does not mean that there is no joy to be experienced by such individuals. There are strategies which they and their families can implement to provide a supportive, healthy environment without making an already difficult disorder even harder to handle. Below are several disorders which may be directly affected by the environments brought on by the holiday season, including tips to navigate your way to a healthy, happy holiday experience.

Depressive Disorders: With the exception of bipolar disorder, depressive disorders involve a non-subsiding state of depression accompanied by depressive thoughts that occur regardless of the situation. Depressive thoughts and moods are especially prominent during this time because of the high frequency of Seasonal Effective Disorder, a depressive disorder caused by changes in seasons, during the fall and winter seasons. This can pose as a large issue during the holidays because being around family members you haven’t seen in a while might bring about suppressed feelings or disappointing memories. It may put you in a mental state similar to where you were in past negative situations.

The most important things to keep in mind in these situations is to keep as best you can to your regular schedule, spend time with those who truly love and care for you, and focus on the present day rather than the past and consistently reminding yourself who you are now and how far you’ve come. This will build up resistance to potential feelings of increased depression and allow you get happiness and enjoyment out of holiday season.

Anxiety Disorders: It is not abnormal for holiday gatherings and preparation to bring an immense amount of stress on everyone involved, since this time of year brings a condensed amount of special occasions to plan and attend in a short period of time. Individuals with generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, panic disorder, or obsessive compulsive disorder may feel specifically effected by holiday related stress.

Some ways to cope with the impending feelings of stress and anxiety include planning and executing everything in moderation and to avoid having an ideal vision of the ‘perfect holiday’ because such expectations are impossible to reach. It is important to accept that there may be issues and difficult encounters within the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. For those who experience anxiety in social situations, be sure to surround yourself with those who truly care and are sensitive to your needs. Try to put as little pressure on yourself as you can with being happy and joyous throughout each holiday experience. The less pressure you are under to find enjoyment, the more likely you are to find it naturally.

Alcoholism: Holiday gatherings bring about intense temptation for those recovering from alcohol addiction and may make it especially difficult for them to stay on track with their path to recovery. If you are a recovering alcoholic who wantst to be able to avoid relapse over the holidays and still be able to spend time with family it is crucial to focus on what the holiday gatherings are truly about and why they are important to you personally. Keep your focus away from the temptation of alcohol by always staying in conversation, take part in other things you may enjoy such as helping out around the house and catching up with distant friends and family. This will help you to get the most out of your holiday experience as well as refrain from a destructive path.

Eating Disorders: For those recovering from various eating disorders, the holidays may bring a time of anxiety, depression, and relapse of the road to recovery, rather than a time of joyous family gatherings. In order to avoid straying from the road to recovery and to prevent possible conflicts, it is highly suggested to have a set plan tailored to your specific needs and concerns that you think will best help you avoid holiday related issues in regards to your disorder. You must also place strong attention to what you value most and focus highly on relationships between those with whom you are sharing the holidays. Try viewing the holiday season in a broader context in terms of what is important to you and your family, as this helps with keeping the focus away from the disorder itself.

If feelings associated with these disorders persist to an extended amount despite the implementation of the above strategies, consulting a psychologist may be helpful in the process of coping. He or she can assist with identifying the core problems you are experiencing and developing successful plans of action from a professional perspective. Keep in mind that the holidays should be seen as a time to enhance your psychological well-being and being able to overcome such intense situations will mean a large improvement with your disorder and hope for future improvement.

SOURCES - http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-without-anxiety/201212/10-tips-surviving-the-holidays

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/12/12/addiction-and-the-holidays/

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2012/12/4-ways-to-navigate-the-holidays-when-you-have-an-eating-disorder/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/eating-mindfully/201212/coping-the-stresses-the-season

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/holiday-season.aspx

Obsession; Do we live in an Obsessed Society?

 

By Pamela O'Connor

 

Recently, we have begun to see the word obsession more and more. Obsession is used in simple sentences describing how we feel about food, shoes, or even people. It is has become overly used and replaced the word “like” entirely. No one can simply “like” something anymore; we must be obsessed with and think of it all the time, that is, until the next obsession comes along. We see celebrities talk about their obsessions, see postings of it on Facebook, hash tags on Instagram and start to feed into being obsessed with new trends or new people.

                One of the main reasons we obsess over things is our constant competitive need to be better than anyone else. When someone shows a liking for something, he or she must be obsessed with it. When this happens, this can make us feel that we not only love it more, but that we loved it first, and therefore, feel we have won in competing with others. This gives us an ego boost and makes us want to obsess even more. There is always something new, something that we want first and don’t want others to have. We are obsessed with having that designer bag, or looking like a certain celebrity so badly we become obsessed with changing everything about ourselves to resemble that person.

                Just the word obsession itself has leaked heavily into our culture and it is hard to resist. Headlines indicating how much we are obsessed with technology, tragedies, and current events further our obsession to be obsessed. Magazines show an obsession of beautiful women and expensive clothing, telling us we should be just as obsessed as they are. With so much to be obsessed about, there is no way to compare two objects. Everything is an obsession and, therefore, everything should be considered to be worthy of that much attention, even things that aren’t as perfect as we think.

                The frequency with what we use this word results in its losing the meaning and power that it used to hold. Obsession should be used to describe extreme love or desire, and originally it was meant to describe an actual mental disorder. But clearly that has changed. This word has gone from having a serious and almost always negative connotation to being used to describe how we feel about materialistic objects and relatively meaningless things. However, there are more than enough ways to describe our liking towards things in our lives, and finding new words to express that would greatly decrease our obsession with being obsessed.

What contributes to SAD-ness: A look into Seasonal Affective Disorder

http://mentalhealthtreatment.net/media/Seasonal-Affective-Disorder2.jpg

Walking out of work at 5pm into complete darkness is deflating. Where did the day go? This pitch darkness that swallows up the early evenings this time of the year may have neurobiological effects with clinical implications. Shortening of days and decreased sunlight occur in the September to November period and prolong until March and April. During this span, some individuals react negatively to these changes, feeling some form of depression, hopelessness, or lack of motivation. This effect is labeled Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Humans need sunlight more than they think. As evidenced by the prevalence of this depressive disorder, being deprived of the sun or natural light can lead to a rise in melatonin levels and a fall in serotonin levels. 

Melatonin is known as the hormone that makes us drowsy and puts us to sleep at the right times according to our circadian rhythms. Our rhythm kicks in when we see darkness towards the end of a long day, but this rhythm is thrown off when this darkness comes a few hours earlier and there is still more left in the day. Melatonin can, therefore, increase more than usual during this time of year because of the increased darkness and shift in our rhythm. This makes us more sleepy and tired during the late afternoon and evenings.

The neurotransmitter serotonin is also linked to this disorder due to its mood stabilizing properties. It is proposed that serotonin decreases with a decrease in natural sunlight, resulting in more fluctuating moods during this time of darkness. Being surrounded by more and more darkness can certainly be a downer, so much so that it can chemically alter one's mood to a point of dysfunction.


http://www.lawyerswithdepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/seasonal-affective-disorder-2.jpg

As for who is commonly inflicted, SAD is found to be very prevalent in northern hemispheric territories. To be expected, the shorter days hit the northern hemisphere the hardest come fall. The dwindling sunlight hurts those above the equator with more intense SAD risk factors.

Solutions for treating or preventing this mood disorder are fairly unique. While psychoactive medication, in the form of anti-depressants, may alleviate the biological maladies, light therapy can be used to improve an individual's light exposure. Although it is not natural light, the use of a light box can emit bright rays and expose an individual to a brighter room or atmosphere, effectively addressing his or her troubles with the dominating natural darkness. Also, for less severe cases, a winter time vacation to an appropriate, perhaps tropical, location can provide a much needed break from the harsh seasonal changes. 

-Ryan Scanlon

Works Used:

http://whatispsychology.net/seasonal-affective-disorder-statistics-and-facts/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/natural-standard/201201/feeling-sad-season

Factors That Affect a Child’s Adjustment to Divorce

As difficult as a divorce may be for the people involved, there is no denying that if there are children involved in these situations, they will be affected as well. For some children who have to live through a parental divorce, it is a very difficult and trying time in their life but other children are not as severely affected. These differences may be due the different factors that affect how a child adjusts to divorce which are: 

• Severity of Conflict: If there is constant fighting and arguing in front of a child, this child is more likely to have a hard time dealing with divorce. Many times parents make their child feel like they are stuck in the middle and try to take sides. None of this helps.  It is better if parents try to keep their fighting away from the child and not involve them.
• Parents’ adjustment: The way that a child’s parents are themselves dealing with and adjusting to the divorce will influence how that child adjusts to the divorce as well. If parents are having a hard time dealing with the divorce and seem to have a hostile outlook, their children will most likely pick up on that attitude as well. Children look to their parents for ways in which they should react. If parents are too busy fighting with each other instead of trying to build their relationship with their children and build stability in their home, the child may end up confused.
• Information the child knows about the divorce: It is important that the child is not completely in the dark about the divorce but it’s also important that they not be aware of confusing, negative information. If they are living through this divorce with their parents, they should know what is going on but not know too much. Depending on the child’s age, they may not be able to comprehend all aspects of the divorce. In order to not confuse them, it is better to only provide them with the most important information such as how it may affect them and their living situation. If children are getting no information about what is going on, it is likely they may begin to make assumptions and could perhaps start to blame themselves.
• Level of Social Support: Having people around them to talk to and help through such a difficult time is very important to children dealing with divorce. Parents should encourage that the child remains close with both sides of the family. It may be difficult for parents to help their child as they are dealing with stress of their own but it is important that they still try to find time to provide emotional support for their children.

       If a parent sees that their child continues to struggle with the effects of divorce, seeking therapy may be helpful. A therapist will be able to help the child work through their emotions and feelings about the divorce.

By: Stephanie Lopez

Source:  http://www.extension.purdue.edu/providerparent/family-child%20relationships/EffectDivorce.htm

Breaking Bad Habits: A Psychological Viewpoint

By Kellie McClain

                Preventing the occurrence of unwanted habits and behaviors can pose as extremely stressful and frustrating, especially if the habit is deeply embedded into an individual’s routine. The main problem that those with bad habits experience when attempting to prevent the behavior is discouragement due to increase resistance. Most often, someone will take action toward preventing the behavior and make substantial progress, but once prevention reaches its peak difficulty, that individual then gives up and loses any progress that was made.

                Tackling this issue from a psychological perspective could help individuals understand how the process of habit breaking works, which will give them more knowledge and motivation when encountering difficulties.  From a psychological view, habit forming occurs under a learning process knowing as conditioning. An individual learns to perform a specific behavior based on the rewards that are received by that behavior. These rewards then make the behavior stronger and turn it into a habit. These habits can only be broken through extinction, which is the process through which a conditioned response decreases or is eliminated completely.

                Through the process of extinction, one will experience increased frustration and difficulty with preventing the behavior. At the peak of this frustration, extinction bursts, which are known as explosions of unwanted behavior, are often displayed by the individual. It is at this point that many individuals get discouraged and give up. However extinction bursts are often followed by complete extinction of the behavior, which means the habit has been successfully broken.

                The take home message for breaking bad habits is to keep in mind the mental process that occur during extinction and to have faith that this process will lead to eventual success. Next time you are trying to rid of an unwanted habit and encourage significant difficulty and frustration, remember that this only means that you are getting closer to reaching your goal.

SOURCE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201311/putting-thoughts-action/bursting-through-bad-habits

Teenage Violence; Raising Awareness for Teen Dating Violence

By Kellie McClain

                Conversations about strangers, bullying, drug use, and sex are commonly had between a teenager and their parent or guardian because a majority of parents know how important it is to discuss these topics. What most often is overlooked, however, is dating violence among teens. Parents of teenagers are normally shocked to hear that one in three teens have been victims of dating violence or have been affected by abusive relationships. What is most unfortunate is that this information is all too often not discovered until after their teen experiences such violent abuse and harrowing effects. Violence occurring in teenage romantic relationship is a topic that unfortunately most individuals are not fully aware of, especially in terms of its severity and frequency.

                Teen dating violence has become an unheard and unspoken epidemic that can occur right in front of parents. It often continues to go un-intervened if the parent lacks awareness. Teens are unlikely stop the abusive situation themselves since most teens are not educated enough on the topic to take the situation seriously. The most common flaw in the __ about teenage dating violence is that the victim is to blame. This was the condition in the recent polls and presentations performed by the Boston Public Health Commission. If teens continue to retain this view, they will be less likely to report abuse, seek help from others, or take any action themselves to prevent further violence. In addition, teenagers are in stages of development in which they do not have a concrete sense of self and, therefore, do not have a good grasp on what create and define a healthy relationship. Parents are also guilty of flawed viewpoints on abusive relationships, often excusing excessive control as “puppy love” and failing to see the severity of the situation.

                If susceptible individuals wish to see any change in these statistics, it is crucial that parents and teens become conscious and fully knowledgeable about the root causes of teen dating violence and how to manage and prevent it. This lack of awareness must be addressed at multiple levels including school districts, parents, and peers through focus groups, school presentations, pediatric screenings, media coverage, the spread of “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.” This month dedicated to awareness of teen dating violence was recently passed by congress and can be implemented along with other strategies exhibited by activists groups as well as by citizens at the local and individual level. Since these acts of violence occur most commonly with those who the victim knows, it is essential that teens be aware of the warning signs of abuse and feel comfortable with reaching out to those they trust.

SOURCE: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2010/03/epidemic.aspx

Deindividuation: Masking Mischief on Halloween

http://www.fondecrans.be/fond/halloween/halloween003.jpg

As it is said, there is strength in numbers. Those who find themselves in a group hold more power than if they were alone. Mischief designates itself to one night a year in the United States. That night, commonly, is adjacent with the candy grubbing, mystical holiday known as Halloween. Why is "mischief night" affiliated with Halloween? Why not Easter? Or Columbus Day? According to Ed Diener and his application of de-individuation, Halloween offers us the opportunity to shake free of our identity, an identity that keeps us responsible for our actions.

De-individuation means exactly what it sounds like: "de-individual." The reason late October may be a more susceptible time for mischief to ensue or for childish vandalism to occur is because of this loss of individualism. As Diener says, putting on a mask, fitting into a costume, or even pulling your hood up all contribute to your loss of identity, which in turn contributes to your uninhibited, or mischievous, behavior. A mere costume leads to an often unconscious "loss of self-observation and self evaluation, with a lowered concern for social evaluation." This idea makes one "indistinguishable" from the environment and therefore more inclined to act out of moral character. 

Halloween also feeds de-individuation through its group dynamic: children and adolescents celebrate Halloween in groups. Those who are out and about on October 31st are most likely in a group, a group that shares the aim of de-individualizing. As Diener also points out, being in a group increases one's likeliness to engage in uninhibited behavior because of the anonymity one holds while in a group. This "mob mentality," where one unconsciously frees themselves from moral responsibility within a group, is supported further by Halloween. This allows even more "mischief."   

http://dorianocarta.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/pumkin_4_mischief_night_529682120.jpg

Diener's 1970's experiment is the root of these claims. Twenty-seven houses were selected as deceptive laboratories on Halloween in order to observe children and their morality in relation to individuation and group settings. The researchers formed categories of "children subjects" depending on if children were in a group or alone and if they were asked their names at the door or kept anonymous. The adult that would answer the door would greet the trick-or-treaters and ask them to take only one piece of candy. The adult would then walk back into the house, leaving the children alone with this sugar-fueled moral dilemma. Should we obey and take only one piece? Or should I take a handful and run?

The results showed that the four different categories of children differed, depending on if their identity was revealed and if they were in a group. The category least likely to commit this Halloween sin was the children who arrived at the house by themselves and were then asked their name. This enhances the child's individualism to the adult, not only by giving his or her name, but by eliminating all other possible culprits he could theoretically hide behind. The category most likely, at about 60%, to cheat the Halloween system and take more candy against the adult's will was the children who were in a group and were not asked their name. More than half the time, with their identities protected through anonymity and group mentality, children acted uninhibited and broke the rules. 

Individuality grants us responsibility, which is valuable in most instances, but not when you're up to no good. Group mischief provokes and protects, a harmful combination. 

-Ryan Scanlon


Works Used:

http://proteus.brown.edu/13things/7452

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/02/10/deindividuation/
(also a book ^^^)

Help Your Child Become a Better Person

By Pamela O'Connor

Every parent wants to give their child the best life possible. They want to give them the life they didn't get to have; they want to give them better opportunities and more successful futures. Every child should be given the chance to have success; unfortunately, when they become privileged they often feel too entitled to stay grounded. They often become smug, demanding, self-centered and believe the world really revolves around them and their desires. There are principles to help keep privileged kids from turning into “spoiled brats” while still giving them the tools they need to succeed.

                  The first principle is to model the behavior you want to see in your children. Kids learn from example and imitate what they see. In order to raise effective adults, you must continuously play the role you want your child to emulate. You do not want them to act like entitled brats that can get anything they want without working for it, so you must not act that way either. As we all know, actions speak louder than words so working hard, doing kind deeds and treating others with compassion will help your child to realize that these are the qualities that they need to exhibit of a mature, responsible adult.

                It is also an important principle to teach your children that everyone needs to be given equal opportunities. No one has the right to believe that they are better than anyone else. People may have different talents or abilities, but that does not make them a better person or someone who deserves more. Financial and educational status should not be a matter of judgment, and teaching your children to treat everyone fairly should be enforced very early on. You must remain loving, but correct your child if they seem to believe they are better than others based on their background.

                Spending time volunteering, and helping people less fortunate is another principle that can help to keep your child grounded and appreciate the opportunities he or she has been given. People who have experienced helping others more often tend to develop compassion, appreciation for life’s opportunities, learn the value of hard work, improve their interpersonal relationships and learn to get along better with others. It is important to help others gain equal opportunities by coming together and helping one another. All three of these principles will hopefully help prevent children who are privileged from becoming narcissistic and entitled as they grow up.

Reference: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-the-right-thing/201310/three-principles-keep-privileged-kids-becoming-jerks

Ways to boost your creativity

www.entrepreneurhearts.com

To label yourself an "uncreative" type is a cop out. As my professor would say, "We can all run, can't we? It doesn't mean we are all Olympic athletes." Every single person has some creative potential, some just seem to harness is better than others. What separates an average Joe brain from a Michelangelo brain? Not much, at first. Michelangelo probably just practiced, and practiced, and practiced. This interesting article at hongkiat.com talks about how, we too, can get started on practicing.

Jordan Driediger is the CEO of his original company, DM2 Studios, which is designed to help support the creativity and inspiration of others. Driediger is the one to credit for these 7 tips to help strengthen your creative juices.

1) Find Your Source
            This refers to your "outlet." What are your interests? What gets you excited? Being stuck in a profession/field of study that doesn't inspire you on a day to day basis certainly can hinder your creative output. Finding what you like requires an open mind because you never know what you like until you try. Examples: musical expression; literary expression; creative problem solving; visual art

2) Surround Yourself With Excellence
            Once you find your source, read up on it. Research and learn to appreciate the pioneers in that field. Become consumed. Agree with some, disagree with others. Study their process and methods, extract what you like and use your own. Examples: an interest in modern art (source) would lead to research and the appreciation of Jackson Pollock and the "drip and drop" method, use this method to generate your own expression; an interest in satirical literature (source) would lead to research and the appreciation for 20th century author Kurt Vonnegut.

3) Just Create
            The hardest part of any creative process is starting it. While some inspirations are sudden and spontaneous and others are intricate and thought out, taking that first step is the most important part. According to Driediger, the process can be a test of resiliency. Many historic minds had many, many attempts and failures before reaching their desired product. Examples: free association writing; doodling

4) Cross Creative Borders
            Many approaches to creativity may overlap each other. Using principles in one discipline may enlighten you to use them in another discipline. These connections, in themselves, are an indicator of your creativity. Examples: implementing the structure of the military when raising a family; using sports and team building metaphors in the business world.

5) Limit Amusement
            A very interesting fact addressed by Driediger:

"Your creative source is known as your "muse". This is an ancient Greek word meaning to be absorbed in thought or inspired. Amusement is the absence of thought or inspiration."

Things that satisfy us on a superficial level (T.V., video games) allow us to be passive. We are not actively engaging our creative process and we can foolishly allow these activities to replace our imagination. Driediger is not condemning all electronic stimulation, but a limited moderation is suggested. Use television occasionally to help expand your mind, but dependence, of course, is unhealthy. This is not to say being creative is all work and no play. Driediger implores you to seek mediums that not only enhance your creativity, but also entertain you. Examples: books on tape; documentaries 

6) Take Care of Yourself
            A very underrated factor that plays an important role in creative production is health, both mental and physical. Chronic ideas that linger throughout the day are said to be damaging to your creative spirit. The best inspiration process often occurs with strong ideas that are critically thought out within the span of a few hours. Driediger advises, when it comes to creativity, quality is superior to quantity. As for health habits: sleep is always recommended to keep the mind sharp, eating well throughout the day to maintain a stable blood glucose level, and making sure your areas of work are tidy (there is no need to spend extra mental effort in figuring out where you left something).    

7) Ignore the Scoffers
            Ignore is a strong word, but I like where Driediger is coming from. The world is full of haters and doubters. Is it really worth it to weigh each negative response in an attempt to alter your personal creation? Absolutely not. While constructive criticism is valuable, you shouldn't be fearful of expressing yourself and taking chances. The fact of the matter is: all great creative minds had plenty of doubters. Monumental ideas make people uncomfortable, they may challenge people's stable point of views. It is only natural that some will be less receptive than others. Driediger would advise you not to worry. It's cliche, but you should "do you." Don't stress the hate, embrace the hate. It will only benefit you in your process of developing your unique, creative product. 

-Ryan Scanlon


Works Used:
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/increase-creativity/

Relieve Stress by Lending a Helping Hand

Young people these days seem very skeptical to helping others because they won't get anything in return. But helping others has proven to be beneficial for both sides.  These days there is too much emphasis on material wealth, and many people are becoming very greedy.  Many people do not want to part with their money; instead, they want more and more.  We are becoming a society of consumers.  The American society is filling up with greed and arrogance, and as a result, good deeds are done without sincerity and with a selfish ulterior motive often.  If a person's main motivation for doing a good deed is not to help another person or group, then they will not reap the rewards which come from giving.  If the acts of services are done sincerely, then the improvement of someone’s life will be greater, and that will improve the helpers’ lives as well.

Giving has been described as a miracle drug for health and well-being.  In a study by scientists from the University of North Carolina and UCLA found that participants whose happiness stemmed from consumption had a higher possibility of developing conditions such as diabetes and cancer than those whose happiness came from volunteering and providing services to others.  The hedonic participants also had a more likely chance to die earlier.  All the statistics indicate that helping others make your life better.  People say that you may not make as much money, and it can hold you back, but money is not important if you are not happy, so please do yourself a favor and help others.     

By: Paul Kang

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services

New York & New Jersey

212-996-3939    201-368-3700

Reference: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/how-to-immediately-improv_b_3895912.html

Couples Counseling: Friendly Fighting Can Be Healthy

By Kellie McClain

No two people in the world are exactly the same. Thus, it is inevitable that two individuals in a relationship will encounter differences between each other. Rather than avoiding these encounters and suppressing negative feelings, couple’s therapists have suggested that couples use techniques to face differences in order to elicit healthy and constructive responses and outcomes. This requires the implementation of “friendly fighting”, a term used to describe techniques used in dyadic arguments that help both individuals successfully express themselves without detrimental effects toward the relationship. Below are a few tips couples can use to ensure they are arguing in a respectful and productive way.

1. Embrace disagreements and conflicts: In addition to these instances being inevitable, they may also be healthy in terms of helping you and your partner see what aspects need progression and growth.
2. Attack the problem, not your partner: Disagreeing results in negative consequences when it leads to personal attacks on the individuals involved. Instead, focus your energy and attention on how the argument can be resolved.
3. Be respectfully attuned to the opposing view: Make sure to view every conflict from both perspectives in order to think critically about the underlying issue and how to handle it.
4. Speak softly: Attempting to speak over your partner shows that you only value your point of view, which leads your partner to express themselves similarly. This turns a civilized argument into a screaming match that does not have a positive ending.
5. Ask questions: Asking your partners questions about their point of view shows that you value their opinion and care about their needs. It will help you to get a better grasp on both sides of the issue and learn how to better reach an agreement.
6. Make peace: The most important part of arguments is to make sure the end results does not yield any lingering hard feelings that can build up and cause more severe problems down the road.

SOURCE: http://psychcentral.com/lib/10-rules-for-friendly-fighting-for-couples/0001342?all=1

Couples Counseling: Pre-Marital Counseling Helps Foster Happy, Healthy Marriages

By Kellie McClain

Pre-marital counseling is a healthy way to ensure that a future marital relationship has a strong basis to build off of. At the time of engagement, relationships between the engaged couples are likely to be at a very strong point in their relationship. That may be why many couples, especially those not encouraged by a religious community, do not find it necessary to seek counseling at such a time. 

Regardless of how strong any couples relationship may be, problems and shortcomings between one another will eventually arise. The easiest options may seem to be to dust the issues under the rug, but without directly addressing any relationship pitfalls immediately after they occur, they may build upon each other, creating tension and communication issues that become increasingly difficult to solve. It has been shown that the earlier couple seeks counseling, the more likely they are to overcome any current or impending problems. 

Some therapists claim the reason behind a couple’s reluctance to seek counseling early on in their relationship or marriage is due to fear that exposing problems through counseling will cause further issues to surface and will put the relationship at risk. These concerns, however, are most often counter intuitive. Admitting to and being open about rising issues within a relationship may seem intimidating, but doing so with a professional counselor can be very beneficial and can strengthen the relationship.

SOURCE:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201109/benefits-pre-marital-counseling-successful-marriage

Couples Counseling: Communication 101

By Kellie McClain

The number one reason couples seek counseling is due to problems with communication. Good communication is the basis of every relationship and is especially essential in maintaining long term relationship between intimate couples. Virtually every problem addressed in couples counseling leads back to the root problem of communication issues between the couple.

Since communication takes up a large part of our lives, it is no wonder that we often encourage issues expressing ourselves and interpreting what others are expressing. In order to successfully address these problems, it is essential to understand the basic structure of how communication works. The sender of a particular message will attempt to express a need, thought, or feeling through a coding process for the receiver to obtain. That message is decoded by the receiver into their own personal level of understanding and interpretation. Each time there is an issue with expressing and interpreting information, it is due to an issue with either the sender or receiver or both.

The sender most often experiences issues resulting from an inability to code their message properly in such a way that allows the receiver to easily interpret the correct meaning of the message. Another issue the sender may encounter could be involving the complexity of their own thoughts and feelings and difficulty with their own understanding of those thoughts. The receiver may also cause communication difficulty from decoding the messages inaccurately through inattention, lack of skills, or adding additional, inaccurate meanings. Whether communication difficulties between couples are due to any one of these issues or a combination of them, there are techniques the couple can apply which will result in a healthier, more effective communication. These techniques include:

1. Be aware of your own communication issues and not just the issues of your partner.
2. Choose your words and actions wisely based on the receiver.
3. Double check with your sender when receiving a message to make sure you understand the message correctly

If difficulties in these areas of communication continue, visiting a therapist for couples counseling can be very effective in identifying the core problems and how to correct them.

SOURCE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201307/basics-communication

Science of Sarcasm

"No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend."




Sarcasm, irony, and dry humor are all enjoyable forms of mockery, for the mocker. The one who is mocked normally gets teased through these mediums, taking it lightly and moving on. Psychology Today's Dr. Clifford Lazarus digs deeper, indicating sarcasm's actual harmful roots. "Sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor," according to Lazarus, and it can potentially disrupt personal relationships. Cutting this underlying negativity out will improve your relationships and boost your overall well being; behind every "joke" is some truth, a "just kidding" is really a cover up. The term sarcasm stems from the Greek term "sarkazein" meaning "to tear or strip the flesh off." This brutal image is the basis for today's word, further implying the psychological disdain sarcasm is meant to inflict. Next time, before laughing at a clever jab, Lazarus would advise thinking about its cruel meaning instead.

Does sarcasm normally take the form of teasing? Yes. Are there some that take sarcastic comments as insults? Yes. But instead of entirely sympathizing with the victims of sarcasm, a lot could be gained from its contributions. Lazarus does point out that sarcasm can bring an element of clever wit into a conversation. Used in moderation, sarcasm is excellent in spicing up an interaction, forcing the participants to take a break from the literal. This sort, however, must be heavy on humor and light on bite. While being considered close cousins, there is a line that separates humor from sarcasm. Humor can lack the ridiculing nature that its cynical counterpart cannot. It is difficult to exemplify sarcasm in a way that does not belittle somebody. Because of this, sarcasm is potentially relationship threatening. Pure humor has the same beneficial qualities, with minimal hurtful backlash.


-Ryan Scanlon

Works Referenced:

 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201206/think-sarcasm-is-funny-think-again

"No, Groucho is not my real name, I am breaking it in for a friend." -Groucho Marx
http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/sarcastic-quotes.html

Teen Drug Use Can Create Bigger Problems Later On in Life

By Pamela O'Connor

It is normal for every child to want to experiment. It is a natural curiosity that everyone is aware of. However, when it comes to drug use and alcohol consumption, experimenting should be taken a lot more seriously and not seen as harmless. This “phase” can turn into a life-long issue, ruining any chance of children having successful jobs or happy marriages and families.  A report from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University found that nearly half of American high school students are using addictive drugs. Many of these students continue to become more and more addicted throughout college and soon enough develop an issue that sticks with them for the rest of their lives.

The degree of risk is hard to predict, so one will not know which child will become addicted and which will not. Children are at a higher risk if they have a family history of mental illness or addiction. It is also higher if they have difficulties coping with stress or strained family ties. Some teens who party occasionally will never develop an addiction, but we will never be able to predict who will develop an addiction, and so the use of drugs and alcohol must be prevented as much as possible.

Since teens in general are unpredictable and moody, it is often difficult to identify signs of drug abuse. They may develop different sleeping habits, spend more time with their friends, or become disinterested in activities they used to love. Yes, children are always changing and what they like will change as well, but if they exhume signs of serious change or distress it may be time to take a closer look at what they are doing. 

Being passive about a drug use situation or ignoring it as “just a stage” will lead to more problems down the road. Parents must send a clear, zero-tolerance message that will let their children know that they as a parent care and love them enough to prevent addiction from ruining their lives. This requires active involvement; taking the time to get to know how they are changing and what they are doing. Your child is developing lifelong habits and goals, and if they see you take their behavior seriously, they will do the same. If your child is using drugs, your concern will help prevent the problem from continuing into adulthood. If they are not using, it will help prevent it from happening and will strengthen the bond between parent and child.  

Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201310/teen-drug-use-phase-or-growing-addict