Bullying has received much more attention in the past few years
than ever before. Many people are realizing how important it is to try to stop
bullying because of its harmful effects on those who are being constantly
bullied. Author, Carl Pickhardt, PhD, wrote a
book called “Why Good Kids Act Cruel” where he talks about the different kinds
of mistreatment among 9 to 13 year olds. Carl says that there are five types of
social mistreatment which include teasing,
exclusion, rumoring, ganging up,
and of course, bullying. Bullying can be done offline, online and through cell
phones nowadays which makes its scope even greater than before. While all forms of social mistreatment can
cause harm to young adolescents, bullying is the most recognized because of how
it can affect home life as well as the school environment. Dr. Pickhardt has
realized while working with bullied adolescents that the way they see
themselves, as a victim or target, creates a difference in how the child is
affected. These are the main differences between victim and target:
VICTIM: Those who see themselves as victims many times believe
that they are in a way deserving of the treatment they are getting from the
bully. They believe that there is something wrong with them which is causing them to be picked
on. They usually feel powerless in the situation because they do not believe
anything will stop the mistreatment. Because of this belief, they give up and
learn, in a way, to accept the bullying. This causes the child to become
especially vulnerable as they feel helpless. Also, the victim does not
believe that they should tell any adults of their bullying because, like
previously mentioned, they believe nothing can be done. If they were to go to an
adult, they would feel even more powerless because they were not able to help
themselves and are now seeking help. They usually start to believe that nobody
at all likes them and everyone is against them which could make a child become
isolated. Many times the ones who see themselves as the victim are inclined to
punish themselves because of the fact that their apparent personal inadequacies
brought on the bullying. We have seen this turn into depression,
self-mutilation and suicidal thoughts.
TARGET: Those who see themselves as the target of bullying believe that the bullying is not their fault. They understand that there
is nothing wrong with them personally to cause the bullying but that it is a
reflection of the bully instead. The
targets know that reaching out to others who may be able to help is essential
in dealing with bullies and that isolating yourself is not going to help. Instead
of beating themselves up for being mistreated, a target commends themselves for
remaining strong while dealing with adversary. One of the most important things
the target does is to remember that they have choices in their situation. They
know that they are not powerless and that they are able to speak up and do
something about the bullying even though previous attempts might not have
worked. They recognize their support system in their parents, teachers, other peers and
school administrators and will use them.
- By: Stephanie Lopez
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201309/being-target-or-victim-adolescent-bullying
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