Do You Feel Guilty?

By Pamela O'Connor

If having a guilty mind is something you find reoccurring, you may be guilt prone. A good comparison to having this constant, annoying feeling would be an overactive smoke detector constantly going off. You know any small bit of smoke will set it off, and so you become on edge waiting for it to signal once again. It becomes so incessant that it begins to distract you from your daily routine, and stress you out so much that you become a rude, defensive and hostile person. Having guilty feelings all the time is similar; it will slowly change you and make you resent everyone around you.

Becoming guilt prone can also create self-fulfilling prophecies. This can greatly impact your relationships. You may think your loved one is upset over something you did, even though it may not be a crucial thing and they may not be upset at all. You may react defensively or coldly to this loved one, and in return they start to act upset. You now think it is because they were upset all along, when really they became upset because of your attitude towards them. This vicious cycle can continue until it ruins your relationships and leaves you feeling even guiltier than you did in the first place.

Luckily, there are ways to restore your peace of mind and ease your guilty conscience. The way to do this is to differentiate between something you've really done wrong and something minor that will not cause a problem. Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes works very well here. If you play the situation out in your head and pretend that whatever you’re doing to someone, they are actually doing to you, you can determine if you would be angry about it. If you are angry about it, that would mean you've done the wrong thing and you are allowed to feel guilty. If you are not upset about it, that means they probably won’t be either, and you should not feel guilty or assume that you've done anything wrong.

Learning to ignore the false guilty feelings and stick with a positive attitude will help keep your relationships healthy and your mind calm. Day to day stress is enough without having to feel guilty all the time. This can take a huge weight off your shoulders and teach you to trust yourself and love yourself more, and know that you may not always be perfect, but you can always be happy. 

Source:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201308/the-two-faces-guilt/the-curse-being-guilt-prone