By Pamela O'Connor
Children need encouragement and positive feedback, but they
need strictness as well. Raising children is of course never easy, but parents
need to mold their children into well behaved and humble people. Parents and
teachers mainly feel that a lot of affirmation and care will bring about good
self-esteem and make their children better. Unfortunately, this can backfire
and change them into selfish, spoiled children that feel entitled to things
they shouldn't. This mainly breeds narcissism in our children and students. Studies
have been done since the 1970’s and recent results are showing that narcissism is
climbing; parents are doting over their children now more than ever and doing
almost everything for them.
What was found is a better way to boost self-esteem and keep
your child or student feeling the right amount consistently. This is
strengthened when adults are responsive by being encouraging and supportive and
understanding. It also helps when adults are demanding by setting standards for
the child to meet and making them accountable for them. Having this genuine
self-esteem stems from accomplishments rather than just affirmation, and by achieving
goals children will feel better about themselves and continue to do well.
If adults are
constantly doing tasks for them, it can send the message of saying “I must do
this, you are unable”. This will discourage the child from being able to do
things on their own and eventually lower their self-esteem. Children need
loving and caring adults to nurture and guide them, but they also need people to
pull the best out of them so they can grow into happy healthy people.
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